We are here, in December and leaving 2019. The truth is, it was a really rough year for me. Too rough and I still try to stabilize the aftermath.
I want to share it here because I know that there are more out there having bad times, worst than mine.
After working for almost 2 years in a good place, I started to feel depressed. Early 2019, I got myself diagnosed and referred to a psychiatric clinic. Now, I’m under medication and having a new job.
For those who are struggling with mental illness, I hope you found the courage to break out from the void and get some help. Then, the real battle starts there because wanting to feel good and ‘normal’ is ridiculously hard.
It is hard to find someone you can trust, to share the things you are experiencing right now. Find the right channel and you are not alone.
Now, I am into 10 months under medication and I am still far away being healthy. However, slowly I feel my motivation is coming back. As I was going through all these, I realized so many things about my situation. It opened my eyes and I hope you will find it in your journey too.
Thank you very much for reading and visiting my site. I am sorry for neglecting my WordPress community with less posts and less visiting your sites. I am ashamed but I really feel good whenever I return here.
Wishing you all the best in the year 2020. May all of you receive great blessing and find success in the things you want to achieve. Happy New Year!
Me and you speaks about ourselves, frequently,
About our feelings and emotions, deeply,
About our suffering and hardship, daily,
About the struggles and hurdles,
We never speaks about them, ever.
We are finally moving up to February and a month past after entering the year 2018. I am sorry for the lack of content and I am pretty sure the same will happen in February. I was so caught up with work and also the unpleasant mood of weather. It has been scorching hot in the afternoon and unexpected heavy rain in the evening here in Malaysia.
Why it is a fervent February? Other than the tight working schedule, I have to attend my friends wedding which are back to back every weekend this month. I was left behind in my entertainment department as well. In January, I did not watch any movies in the cinema. Luckily this week, I only have 2 working days, Monday and Tuesday. Thanks to Thaipusam, Federal territory day and I took a leave on Friday as well. However, I will be quite busy on the weekend. That is pretty much the reason I am able to write now.
Just reminiscing last year, I was on my career break and basically focusing on this blog and my other writing projects. To be honest I really miss the moment. Every day waking up, I don’t have to worry about work except what I want to do most, which is writing. I was not even worried about not having a job. I only focused on myself in enjoying my free time. It was carefree too.
In a year, so many things has changed and I am sure so many things to come. It’s never wrong to stay in positive thinking especially on the things that we cannot predict. How else than looking on the bright side on the things forward. It’s much better for us to stay calm and try to be organized so we are more prepared.
I hope you guys will enjoy your February. Have a good month and enjoy!
Few days ago, me and a friend met each other in Bukit Bintang. He said he had a training and by the end of the training he wanted to have dinner together.
While we were talking, we somehow talked about something interesting. It is about the diversity of our country, Malaysia. The topic was sparked along this line.
“What do you think about mixed marriage?”
I asked that question. He said he is not sure. Then I added.
It is funny that we live in a multiracial country but I don’t see the we as one nation. We don’t have this Malaysian spirit in us. I don’t know how to speak in Chinese. Nor in Indian. I can only speak Bahasa Malaysia and English. Shouldn’t it be something like I know how to speak all those three languages. Perhaps even more if we include Sabah and Sarawak too.
Somehow mixed marriage from my observation are something common now but the acceptance for such cases are still low. Some parents are not comfortable to allow their children to marry someone with different racial background. I know it is not easy, especially when you are marrying a Malay Muslim here.
I remembered when I shared an article to my friends about mixed marriage. It was a group chat and I was the only Muslim. One of the main reason they do not want to marry a Muslim guy is because the guy can marry four women at a time.They also need to convert to Islam.
To me, it is a great sacrifice for someone to convert, a lot bigger when parents doesn’t give their consent. There were two news this year regarding mixed marriage that made it to the local news frontpage. One couple have their parents blessing and the other did not.
There are other things as well that I can’t understand why it still exist, such as national type school. I know that even if you are not Chinese or Indian, you can enter the school. Why can’t we just make it one national school? I had my primary school in the city, all of us gathered and have fun together and race doesn’t matter. That school somehow made me feel Malaysian.
We also lack in racial knowledge towards each other. Each races has their own tradition and customs. Somehow, it is still not a common sense for Malaysian. Something like Malay don’t eat pork or Indian don’t eat beef. So much things we don’t know about each other.
Not to mention that some people still believes in racial statements and stereotype. I believe we are not lacking in nationalism, but we lack in understanding towards each other. Why can’t we be someone who understand and respect each other? Is it because of how we raised? How our politic works? Our surrounding?
To be united and true Malaysian. There are few things that we need to do and it is not unity alone. It has to be done as early as possible through education. We must come up with a syllabus that can educate our children and introduce them to the unique culture of Malaysia. We must teach them how important it is to be open minded, accepting, respecting and grow in diverse community.We may have different colors and religions. We were born in the same soil of Malaysia.
In commemorating our 60th years of Independence, I wish in the next 50 years during my old life and my grandchildren life. I am still alive to see Malaysia that embraced their identity and we are united as real Malaysian. A Malaysian in the future knows how to respect other Malaysian, knows the core languages that made Malaysia multiracial and we can stand proud together without any conflicts. We are living in the same house but understand each other needs.
This is #negaraku Malaysia. I am a proud Malaysian and I hope you do too.
I did it! I have finished.. now I’ll lay them all out for a final photo.. #1000papercranes #anorchidsview This is what 1000 cranes look like. I attempted to lay them out prettily but the cat kept knocking them over! It’s been a long journey. According to the legend.. I get a wish – but you know […]
I really enjoyed the posts by Edge of Humanity Megazine. Do check them out!
Photographer Lottie Davies is the Edge of Humanity Magazine contributor of this travel photography. To see Lottie’s body of work click on any image. See also: People Portraits By Lottie Davies Back to HOME PAGE
This thoughts still keep coming doesn’t it? This movie was recommended by Singledust. Check out her amazing short stories that can really captured your innocent side!
If you have not watched the movie and hate spoilers, don’t worry because there are not much spoilers in here.
Who believes in a perfect world? A Utopia? The movie shares that vision where everyone are equal and same. Which they called ‘sameness’. The movie ‘Equals’ shares almost the same idea. In order to achieve peace and serenity, emotions and feelings need to be stripped away from humanity.
So how do I feel about it? What are my thoughts against this idea? If there is a point one day where humanity decided to vote or to choose (which most likely will not happen because, we will surely be forced), I will not vote or support and I am on the side of opposing this very idea. Why?
Before I tell you why, I wanted to say that I do understand the benefits of living in such condition. I must say, human are complex being. They have mind and thoughts which makes us different compared to animal. Animal lives based on their instinct and not mind. That is what I believe and I do accept others will have their own opinion in this matter.
There was a time in my life, that I believe this world can run without money. I asked people about it. They would say, impossible. We need money. We cannot live without money. If there are no money, are using barter system? The barter system has flaws!
They are not wrong, really. However, the world that I believe can work without money. How? Imagine this, you wanted something from me, lets say I grown apples and you want them. I would say, ‘take it’. I do not want anything in return. Then, I went somewhere and wanted something. They gave me and ask nothing in return. The thoughts that you might have now, that is impossible! Of course when we gave something, we wanted something in return. If you think about it, is that not greed? Where is the sincerity of giving something or sharing something that we have? Think about it.
Again, this is not in small scale, this is global. You wanted to travel just get your ticket from the flight company. You wanted to watch a movie, go to the cinema and get your ticket. You want to get groceries, go to the supermarket and take it. Perfect? Ask yourself, what do you think of my idea? Acceptable? Totally rejected? Why? Tell me in the comment below.
It may look perfect. Wonderful utopia indeed. But there was this one guy shared his thoughts, he said, ‘True it is a wonderful world. But, one thing that they will not have, the improvement and innovation. Your idea somehow will be filled with people who has no motivation to improve themselves. They know they can just get the things that they wanted and they will get lazy eventually’. I do not object, there are truth in his words.
Now, let me share why I will be on the opposing side. In order to achieve this perfect world, sacrifices had to be made. In this part, your emotions and feelings. The society in this movie stripped the feeling of love, loss, desire, freedom and sadness. They will decide what you have to do and what you will do on your life. If you do not fit in any roles in their society, you will be ‘released’ in other words, ‘put to your eternal sleep’.
I detest the idea. We are being naive by believing that we have no need of emotions and feelings. We believed we can play god. How arrogant is that? I actually have another opinion which is religion oriented but I am trying to be general as I can in this post.
Let us do some imagining activity right now. We are to create a peaceful world. Where do we start? Individual! Yes, that is the answer. I have the power to create a better world. You have it, he have it, she have it and everyone have it! Next one is the method. Everyone need to implement the same method in achieving peace. If its different, you see what happened nowadays. When we have the same mindset and the same method, we will move in unison towards peace. Then comes the order and rules to maintain. I believe there are more but I cannot think further right now.
What I truly believe, be it in reality or fantasy, everyone has the same opportunity to help in creating a better life. The doctors, the teachers, the writers, the engineers and everyone. If they are willing to see and open their eyes, know whats good and wrong, come to an understanding. We can! First step is ourselves.
There are many aspects and perspectives that we can see in the movie. And I am just talking about the background of the movie itself and not on characters.
As for the movie part, I do enjoy watching it. If you are interested in sci-fi and utopian genre. Do give this movie a chance.
They were alone in the room, staring each other with hearts filled desire. He raised his hands on both of her cheeks. She touched his hands slowly and covering her shyness with her face getting red. Slowly he rested his forehead against hers. Time stopped for the both of them as they now stepped in a different dimension. Both hearts beating fast and blood rushes as he rubs the tip of his nose on hers. A moment that they will always remember and hope will remain forever. He hugged her tightly and firm. She can hear his beating heart and he knows better. None can separate them now as this both two souls filled each others heart with love and growing more and more. He slowly look at her again and smile. She smiled back. Both in joy and happiness. Slowly he turn his face closer and she closes her eyes. He gently place his lips on hers. A kiss that would last with love and lust that can never be undone. As now they are buried inside the ruins of destruction brought by human with evil and greed.
*Let us pray on behalf of the victims around the world. Say NO to terrorism!